i am a product of failing our public school system

i really am. i've rarely succeed in an academic setting. tests? lectures? open discussions? they just aren't for me. i've recently realized that i am currently successful in my life, in fact, more so than many of my peers. i've even noticed that at work i am much "smarter" than many of my co-workers. it's a strange mind set to have. especially since i know i'm not very smart...at all. i know that i'm not! it takes me forever to comprehend even simple things. i can't read too deeply into conversations, or even follow a discussion or argument for more than a few minutes before my mind wanders and looses all the tangential relationships (is that even a correct phrase?). So, I'm really wondering how the fuck people are so stupid! Are they really dumber than I am? Does it really take them that much longer to understand things than me? Even this blog post....it's horribly written and hardly structured in any way.

here is the key.

after i'm done writing what pathetic non-sense i think i can i'll go back and refine everything i say. i'll make edits. look for the incredible errors, and fix them....usually correctly. it might not make up for the poor ideas and conclusions, but it certainly makes things seem smarter. and that's my catch. i create the deception of smartness around everything i say and do. even when i'm actually making a very poor conclusion in a average conversation...i'll make it a joke and it's usually perceived as being clever, and sometimes even funny!

anyway, this post wasn't nearly as good as i had envisioned in my mind before writing it, but that's okay. i'm really just trying to type my thoughts as quickly as i can before i make all the edits it's going to need. so, i'm going to conclude this post making it clear that i'm not very smart. i'm actually pretty dumb, but by realizing the weak spots in the fabric of our society...and exploiting them...i'm a genius!