like a wall covered with warm light

it feels like i'm sitting in a room. a very small room. just enough room to move comfortably with all my stuff. everything and anything i need to create whatever i want. the walls are lit with warm tungsten lighting which casts shadows over everything in its path. the floor is wooden and the ceiling is low.

this is how i can feel my mind closing in on me. it's not a bad thing. this is exactly how i feel before huge bursts of inspiration...something i've been longing for so long! it's kind of like "the night is darkest just before the dawn" i suppose. it's not depression & it's not anxiety. it's just pressure building up on my thoughts, emotions, reactions, and physical being. i suppose this is all being triggered by my recent trip to ny, which attributed to the realization that i'm not exactly where i want to be and i don't know how i'm going to get there. i'm not exactly in a rush to leave DC or anything, but i'm excited to know where things are going to lead in my life. it's so up in the air! (it's always awkward to write when people are looking at me through the window. maybe it's just me being paranoid, but it's effin lame).

i like that it's starting to get cold again. it's so great to be able to bundle up in as many layers as i want. break out gloves, a scarf, or a sweater. whatever. it's awesome. kind of like copeland's new album is awesome. it's amazing actually. though, i think i could argue that it's not really copeland anymore. they've switched out a few members since they began, and they've definitely lost their "rock" edge, which is both bad and good. anyway, if there is anyone that randomly comes across this blog i suggest you buy copeland's "you are my sunshine" and all their other albums too.

until next time...